Tuesday, January 21, 2014

what to do in the morning when your husband has yet to wake up.

monday, january 20, 2014

i'm about to enjoy my second mug of JOY diva-nilla coffee from ben and martha (christmas gift). i've already showered, brewed a pot of coffee, cleaned the kitchen, neatened up the living and dining rooms, and even dusted the entertainment center and t.v. stand. they're both dark colors and haven't been touched by a dustcloth in probably 3 months. i'm not a dusting kind of woman. dusting's for the birds. but once every 3-4 less-than-full-moons, i'll take a damp cloth to the sorry little thing. dust gets gross after a while. i can't stand walking by it once it gets super noticeable when you put a dvd there, remove it, and there's a clear scuffmark in the dust. um. gross.

anyhow. to the subject at hand.

justin has yet to get up.

i've learned slowly --not in the first few months, but over the last one or two-- to let him wake up mostly on his own time. especially on mondays, when he is sleep-recovering from having been up for 24+ hours. in the first few months of being married, i would try all my morning-person ways of waking him. kissing him. bouncing on the bed. tickling him. pulling the covers off.

but then i learned (not a fast realization at all) that he wakes up much slower than i do on a daily basis. :P hah. and he also seems to need more sleep than i do. go figure. well, i can't say that. he works 4 long days a week. i do, in a different sort of spread out way. housewifery stuff, you know. i'm my own boss. my own slightly ocd boss.

so what does a wife of almost 8 months do in the afternoon/morning when her husband is sleeping?

well, i would highly suggest giving in to looking at the webcam photos from your best nannying job ever. you know, the one with the 3.5 month old mostly-bald, easygoing cutie? hahah, that one. and just because your fertile/babyfever times of the month usually only last 4 days, don't think you're past accidentally stretching this time into more than a week. :P looking at baby pictures of your husband will do that to you. flowermama (thoughts & whatnots blog) confirmed it's not an odd thing to get the worst baby fever ever when seeing baby pictures of one's spouse. cray-cray feelings of wanting to reproduce and see what the sweet bebes would look like are absolutely normal.


totes click on that photo folder. enjoy. feel your heartstrings tug and your breath catch at the sweet smiles shared in the pictures between you and the little one. savor the annoying-enjoyable feeling of your ovaries wanting to explode.


now go get another cup of coffee.

stare at more of those pictures. the cutie gets bigger, your hair gets longer and you see bad hair days and good hair days and take note of them; the cutie has yet to grow any hair to speak of. but the adorableness is undeniable. the good-naturedness of the kiddo is apparent.

you remember your night owl tendencies colliding with his sometimes too-short naps; the copious amounts of coffee ingested to carry you through another 6 hours.

but those other moments...the moments rocking the tired wee person to sleep, and that first moment when you walk into the room after you hear him waking on the baby monitor, that moment as he looks up to see you and smiles in that sweet, perfect way that fills your heart and the whole world with enough sunshine and love to melt the thoughts of tiredness and all the matters on your mind for a little while...those moments are logged with indelible ink on the soft, hard-working walls of your heart, no matter how many years you've seen.

the journeys of our hearts in well lived lives are mostly the same.

there are hard journeys of mourning the empty space in this world left by an early-passing beloved.
there are the thrilling journeys of finding one's love and looking forward to the rest of your life by their side. there are the hiccups, disappointments, frustrations and walls that your run into on that path...and sometimes you  learn how to scale the walls, while other times you have to walk on tired feet to find the end of the wall and trek around it in years of hard work and wearied determination. finding the one whom your heart feels at home in, that is a beautiful journey of loving.

then there's the journey of growing a portion of your together-love and together-life; bringing a small, fresh soul into the world, and sharing the joys and sadnesses and loves and wonders and pains of life with them.

we want to share life with people, no? we don't want to be alone. we don't want to be forgotten. so we bring our combined love into the world, in the form of another life to love and learn from and grow older with.

(i walked away from this writing to do something, and got caught up in other stuff so i didn't make it back while i was still in the certain mojo to keep writing on it. my apologies for the lack of a better ending.)

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